The following extracts are perfectly genuine and taken from actual letters sent to the DHSS (Social Security). Although rather crude they are written in good faith by the senders. Honestly.

The man next door has a large erection in his back garden which is unsightly and dangerous.
I want some repairs doing to my cooker as it backfired and burnt my knob off.
The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children until it is cleared.
I need money to buy special medicine for my husband as he is unable to masturbate his food.
I am pleased to inform you that my husband who was reported missing, is dead.
Sir, I am forwarding my marriage certificate and two children one of which is a mistake as you will see.
Unless I get my husbands maintenance money soon I shall be obliged to live an immortal life.
You have changed my little boy into a little girl. Will this matter?
I do not get any money from my son. He is in the army and his regiment is at present manuring on Salisbury plain.
In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
Re your dental enquiry. The teeth on top are alright but those on my bottom are hurting dreadfully.
I am very annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate. This is a lie as I married his father a week before he was born.
I am sorry I omitted to put down all my children's names. This was due to contraceptional circumstances.
I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.